going bananas

once upon a time, there was a girl with big dreams. then life happened. now, in the midst of a pending divorce, the lack of a job, car and a place to call her own, she finds herself feeling quite "stuck". in case you are wondering...yes, i am talking about me. i know there is a light at the end my tunnel, but it's pretty dim right now. i came across this quote by Mother Teresa that states, " I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much". that pretty much sums up how i am feeling at this time in my life. however, though my way out (light at the end of the tunnel thing) may seem unreachable, i am so blessed with other things. for one, i have the most beautiful daughter that brings such joy and life to me. she is 3 going on 23 and is soooo smart! she recently moved to "the big kids class" and you would swear she's been in that class for months. she is now learning the pledge of allegiance and i was informed that she wanted to dance it rather than just recite it. is it her fault that it's set to such a catchy little tune? what can i say? the girl loves to shake her groove thing. along with my daughter, i also have a rather large extended family that loves me, faults and all. i have to be honest and say that there are times when i feel like an outcast, even within my family. maybe it's because i am no longer working on a marriage or maybe it's because of choices and decisions i have made in the past. whatever it is, i sometimes feel left out or like i don't belong amongst certain people. i know, it's silly that it bothers me. i just need to accept that no matter what i do, i am not going to be included in all things "family" and that i can't take it personally. that can be hard sometimes, especially when i've been told that people do talk about me and my past situations. what's a girl to do? people can say what they want and think what they want, but i know that my life mistakes, or experiences, have made me aware of things i did not even know about myself. these mistakes have not "killed" the person i was meant to be; they only made me stronger and more aware. one day, i know this fairy tale i call life will have its happy ending. for me, it's already begun. i have omitted the things/people in my life that were bringing me down. i have turned a new leaf which is something i never thought i was capable of doing. now, my head is high and the future looks promising. with my daughter by my side and my faith in an all-knowing God, i know i cannot fail.