ok, while i channel my inner lionel richie, i will attempt to update you on what has been going on in my life since our last "chat". believe it or not, i am still jobless! i knew this recession was bad, but seriously?!! i have applied for several jobs now and my cover letters to these prospective employers are starting to sound just short of desperate. aww heck, who am i kidding? they're getting there people and it's soo pathetic. the Lord is giving me a heavy duty lesson on patience, that's for sure. i know that my trust in Him needs to remain steadfast. i feel that this experience is humbling me and has given me a lot of time to reflect on my life thus far. as i approach the age of 35 this october, i feel the need for change. i have to thank a cousin of mine for this as she is doing the same in her life. you might even say that she has inspired me. her need for change (or the realization that change was necessary) came in the form of a trip to Israel. Although a trip to Israel would be very life changing and awesome, i personally don't NEED it in order to realize the need for change in my life. Each of us have done things or said things that we aren't necessarily proud of. a mistake is defined as "an error in action, calculation, opinion or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc." The way i view mistakes are all that and more. My life mistakes have been life experiences that have taught me so much. if i had not made these "action errors", i would not have even realized my personal need for growth...yes, even at the age i am at now. my failed marriage, my choice of [some] friends, negativity (both given and received), even my need to love and be loved came with a hefty price. i have learned that life is just too short and i would rather surround myself with more positive influences/things. for now, i am at peace and am at my happiest being a single mommy. sophie has filled a void in my life and the joy she brings me is so overwhelming at times. sometimes i feel like i don't deserve this joy, but it's what God knew i needed. i love to spend time with her; in fact, this past week, we spent a lot of time together as her school was closed in preparation for the upcoming school year which started today. it started with a trip to san diego. while we were down there, we saw michael buble in concert and made a trip to the san diego zoo. oh and if you are wondering who "we" is, it's my nana, mom, one of my aunts, sophie and myself. we never get away for a vacation, so this little weekend getaway was a much needed and very enjoyable treat! a good time was had by all. of course, our week would not be complete without a trip to my home away from home...disneyland!!! that is my happy place; the place i go to in order to get away from it all. some people can't understand why i frequent that place so often, but when i'm there, i can forget about all my worries and frustrations and just enjoy who i am along with my daughter. we also ran little errands here and there and started back to dance after a little break. in all that, we also made sure we had time to just stay home and relax. during this time, sophie developed a really bad cough and sore throat. the latter of the two eventually went away, but that stinker of a cough is still lingering. i hope she recovers from that soon. i really dislike seeing/hearing her sick. it breaks my heart! well, i guess that's all for now. i'll try to write later and let you all know how sophie's first day back at school went. she had a rough morning when i dropped her off, but i'm sure she settled down eventually and had a good day (fingers crossed!). for now, i leave you with this:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change;
courage to change the things i can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
~Reinhold Niebuhr
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